


A Light In The Darkness

by Elevane_Theirin



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-06 10:24:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8746855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elevane_Theirin/pseuds/Elevane_Theirin
Summary: This is tagged for Mature due to attempted rape scene. There is no actual rape.





	1. Where Do I Go From Here

**Author's Note:**

> This is tagged for Mature due to attempted rape scene. There is no actual rape.

Ann's entrance into the Circle at Ostwick was uneventuful. She was nine when she realized she was a mage, being from a faithful Chantry family Ann immediately told her parents and together they arrived the next morning at the local Chantry. Bags packed, Ann was ready to commit herself to the life of a Circle Mage. 

She missed her family and threw herself into her studies. If she was going to do this, and she simply had no choice, she would be the best she could be. Ann even at the young age of nine resolved herself to never be tempted by demons, and that was a promise she'd always kept. 

At 19 Ann wasn't the youngest mage to complete their Harrowing, a mage in Fereldan had beat her by a year. She had however completed it the fastest according to the First Enchanter. AS a result the First Enchanter had sent her to Kirkwall on loan. Kirkwall had an influx of apprentices. A fire at the Starkhaven Circle and the refugees from Fereldan's Blight over extending Kirkwall's teachers. The Kirkwall Circle needed help training the children and Ann was good with children as well as one of the best fire mages in the Free Marches, or so she was told. 

Luckily she hadn't been there long. Not more than six months. She'd missed the Qunari uprising by days and the Chantry explosion by years thank the Maker! She had however run into the Champion of Kirkwall once in the Gallows, what Kirkwall calls their Circle. Hawke had bumped into her while she was looking over the Apothecary's shop. Hawke was with that mage who'd blown up the Chantry, Anders and a cute little Elven man with glowing tattoos, Ann never did learn his name. Oh and that Prince of Starkhaven, whatever his name was. All Ann remembered was his blinding white armor that required she shade her eyes. She'd also noticed that Hawke was a mage. She wasn't sure how anyone else had missed it because Ann could feel the reminants of the Fade coming off of the Champion and smell the lyrium in her blood. 

Once the Mage Rebellion had started the mages in the Circle in Ostwick had all but decided to stay in their quiet secluded tower. This however didn't stop the Chantry from sending extra Templars. The threat of a Right of Annulment looming over the studious mages always lurking in the shadows. 

The day Ann left for the Divine's Conclave started out quietly enough. The First Enchanter and the Chantry records claim that Ann was sent to observe the Conclave, and that's what her family believed but Ann knew the truth. It was her first indication that the Chantry and the Circles lied to protect themselves. After 29 years of devotion to the Chantry Ann no longer cared for what it had become, what it at shown itself to be, even if it did protect her from that awful title of Apostate. It had also protected a sadistic Templar who didn't deserve the honor of his position. When the Chantry should have removed him, they only hid his crimes and allowed him to remain in Ostwick. 

Ann shuddered at the memory. She'd been spending more and more time alone in the Circle's library. She'd been learning some minor Spirit Healer spells, having decided it would come in handy with all the turmoil in Thedas. One shouldn't be a total offensive mage she had reasoned. 

 

 

Ann was at the back of the library between some shelves reading through "Spirit Healers; Healing Thedas" when she heard armored footsteps moving toward her. Having been accustomed to the sound she barely noticed as she continued reading. She was engrossed in the book when someone grabbed her from behind and shoved her against the book shelf hard. 

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck as he growled out, "I've been watching you little bird, and I'm tired of merely watching. You'll give me what you've tempted me with or I'll take it from you. You mages are always tempting us, you owe us for protecting you from those people out there and it's time you pay up." 

As he talked the Templar had pinned her hands against the shelf with one hand, hurting her wrists and preventing her from defending herself even if she had been in a state of mind to do so. As she struggled she felt him pulling her robes up in the back 

Breathlessly he whispered "I'm going to enjoy this, I like soft girls!" 

Ann screamed, begging him to stop when he laughed and told her no one would believe her and he would claim she was a blood mage if she did tell. Then they would kill her. She had stopped struggling then and resigned herself to her fate. Just then the pressure on her back and the hands on her wrists were gone. She spun around just in time to see Knight-Captain Barrett punch the Templar she didn't know except in passing, square in the face. Barrett's gauntleted fist knocking the man out. The Knight-Captain kicked the unconscious man for good measure and turned to Ann. 

"Go, pack a bag and leave the Circle. You can't stay here, it will only be worse for you when he wakes up and tells the Knight-Commander. I couldn't let him rape you but I don't think I can convince the Knight-Commander he's lying when he does claim you're a blood mage. There's just too much going on with the mages for him not to believe. 

Ann replied, "But, what of you? Won't you be in trouble as well?" 

"I'm leaving as soon as I can make up a reason you've gone. I didn't join the Templars to watch it them become what they have." 

Ann packed a small pack of clothes and a couple of books and had gone downstairs. When she got to the door Ann was confronted by the First Enchanter and the Knight-Captain. 

"You're going to the Conclave, to observe, here are your orders and your papers to let you pass should anyone question you. Don't come back." Ordered the First Enchanter 

That was how she ended up at the Conclave that fateful day and how the Circle and the Chantry covered up a crime, because Templars aparently could get away with anything. She'd only actually gone to the Conclave because she had no idea where else to go and she had been scared to not go. 

Now she was sitting in a dark jail, manacles on her wrists with almost no memory of the last 24 hours.


	2. Flame of Andraste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann makes her way to the Temple of Sacred Ashes and meets the people that will soon form the Inquisition

Sitting in a jail, or dungeon, her wrists in shackles, Ann wondered what the strange magic coming from her hand was. She wasn't creating it, at least she didn't think so. It was sort of just shooting from a gash in her hand. Watching the green light brighten and darken Ann tried to remember what had happened in the last 24 hours. A door slammed shut further down the passageway startling her. When she looked up two women were coming toward her. One, a woman in a purple sort of rogue armor with her hood up was just strolling down the hallway, the other woman was stomping, walking like she was going to pounce on Ann. The angrier woman was clearly a Seeker, her armor gave her away. She'd seen a battle or two as well the large scar on her face told Ann that much. Her breath caught in her throat when she realized the second woman was a Seeker, she'd heard the stories about Seeker Lambert, she knew what they were capable of. When the angry Seeker spoke Ann began to tremble.

"Tell us, what happened at the Temple? Why did you kill the Divine?" The Seeker shouted at Ann, bending down into her face for emphasis.

Ann didn't answer, she sat staring straight ahead. No matter what she said the Seekers history told her she'd still be made tranquil, or worse, killed. It was better to keep your mouth shut and just let them decide. Either way she was doomed. 

The Seeker shouted louder, angrier now than before, if that were possible, "Tell me why we shouldn't kill you? The Conclave destroyed, the Divine dead...."

Tears formed in Ann's eyes, "All those people, dead... You think I did it?"

"Who else? You're the only one who survived, now tell me what happened?" 

Tears now streaming down Ann's face "I don't remember."

"You're lying!" the Seeker screamed so loud her voice reverberated off the walls.

"Cassandra, we need her" the silent woman in the rogue armor quietly said, calming the Seeker.

So, her name was Cassandra, at least Ann would know the name of the person who would kill her. 

"Go to the forward camp Leliana, we will meet you there" the woman named Cassandra replied.

Shock spread across Ann's face as the realization that she might not actually be killed struck her. Cassandra pulled her up by her arms. She led Ann out of the dark passageway and into the daylight. Blinded Ann looked around. The whole sky was green, or seemed to be the whole sky. Something was shooting out of a large whirling circle in the sky. 

Cassandra noticed the way she was looking at the sky, "We call it the Breach, it's a massive rift in the sky caused by the explosion at the Conclave. It's causing more rifts and demons are falling out of it."

"An explosion can do that?"

Sighing, Cassandra responded, "This one did, and each time it spreads so does that mark on your hand, and it IS killing you. We think you can help, but you'll need to come with me."

"I don't know how I can help, but if I can I will. If something isn't done it's easy to see that thing will destroy the world." Ann replied awed by the Breach.

Cassandra unlocked Ann's hands from the shackles and steered her towards the path. Everyone in the little town was staring at them. Some with obvious contempt on their faces, some simply in curiosity and interest.

"Many of them have already decided your guilt, they need it. They need a reason, an explanation of what happened. I can't promise anything but I can tell you there will be a trial, a fair trial where you can prove your innocence or your guilt." The Seeker said matter of factly.

Ann didn't believe any such trial would be fair, not with the Seekers and the Chantry involved, she knew what they were capable of, but she didn't answer.

The two walked through the gates and started up the path, Cassandra pointing the way. "What did happen? How DID I survive the blast?" Ann finally asked Cassandra.

"They say you stepped out of a rift, a woman was behind you then she was gone. The soldiers found you unconscious and brought you here"

As they crossed Penitents Crossing debris fell from the sky and destroyed the bridge. Cassandra and Ann fell to the frozen river below. When Ann sat up and cleared her head she realized Cassandra was trying to fight off two demons. Looking around the fallen supplies Ann spotted a staff among some swords, shields and food supplies. Grabbing the staff she began to draw energy from the fade, pulling it along with the lyrium from her veins. Casting fire at one of the demons setting it ablaze and killing it. Cassandra managed to kill the second one and immediately turned on Ann. 

"Put your weapon down, now." As if Ann hadn't just helped her fight off the demons.

"Alright, I don't need a staff anyway." Ann answered, slightly angry at Cassandra for the implication that she would do something to her.

The Seeker sighed, "Keep it, it's dangerous and I can't protect you. Take these as well" 

She handed Ann a belt with red potions attached. Healing potions, well that was a comforting thought.They continued down the frozen river and across to the continuing path. As the climbed a hill and rounded the bend she could hear fighting. As they neared another ruined part of the path Ann saw the skirmish that was causing the noise. A rift, smaller than the one in the sky was dropping demons like it was raining. Several soldiers were fighting them along with another mage and a dwarf with a crossbow. Without even thinking Ann jumped down from the edge of the path and began throwing fireballs at the demons. As close as she was to the rift it made it easier for her to draw energy from the fade and seemed to make her spells stronger than she was used to. She closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated sending an explosion at the final demon. Before it had completely burned away and been sucked into the fade the other mage grabbed her hand and pointed it at the rift. A strange rope of light reached down to the magic on her hand, as she pulled her hand away the rope pulled with her and the rift just zipped shut, as if she'd pulled the drawstring on a knapsack. Ann stared at her hand in wonder.

"How did you do that?" She asked the mage.

"I did nothing, that was you."

Whispering more to herself than anyone else, "Then I CAN help."

The mage, an elven man began talking to Cassandra. Ann wasn't listening, she was too in awe of what she'd just done. The rogue with the crossbow strode up to Ann.  
"Well, hello there! Nice to meet you Torch, I am Varric Tethras, rogue, storyteller and sometimes unwanted tag a long."

"Umm nice to meet you. Torch?" Ann stammered

"Well, yeah. All that fire you were shooting back there we're all lucky we aren't toast too. I also have this notion that you're going to be the only light in this Maker forsaken situation, so yes, torch."

"And I am Solas if there are to be introductions" the elf proclaimed as if his name should have meant something.

"What he means is, I kept that mark from killing you." Varric interrupted

"You know about this?" Ann showed him her hand.

Before Solas could answer Cassandra was urging them forward. They had to get to the forward camp and decide the best course of action in closing the Breach. There was very little conversation as the continued along the path. Several more times the foursome had to stop and kill demons but until they reached the forward camp there were no more rifts. When they came upon the gates to the camp however there was a rift blocking their path. Ann once again closed the rift, pulling a rope from within the rift and zipping it closed as before. This time Ann was just as in awe at being able to close the rift as she was before. This was amazing. She'd never seen anything like it. She wondered not for the first time where it had come from and why she was the one who had it.  
When they opened the gates Ann could hear arguing. She only recognized one voice, Leliana. The other voice was that of a man and he was angry. Shouting about 'the prisoner' She assumed that was her. He wanted her sent to Val Royeaux now and nothing Leliana was saying was getting through to him. As they got closer she noticed his clothing. Great, a Chantry brother. Just what she needed. That also explained why he wasn't listening, nor caring about Leliana trying to tell him that Ann could help.  
As she neared the arguing pair Cassandra introduced them properly. "This is Chancellor Rodrick, and of course you know Leliana"

Rodrick immediately ordered Cassandra to arrest Ann and have her prepared to be sent to Val Royeaux. This seemed to set Cassandra off. That began yet another argument this time between with the Seeker out shouting the Chancellor. 

"Isn't the Breach the more pressing issue?" Ann interjected

"It's your fault it's there to begin with!" Rodrick shouted. 

Cassandra ignored him, she and Leliana were discussing the best route to the Temple. They had lost a squad on the mountain path and the soldiers were on the main path to the Temple. If they didn't get help the soldiers would surely parish as well. Cassandra turned to Ann and asked her which she would choose.

"I won't live long enough to see your trial Chancellor. I say we charge with the soldiers. It's the fastest route and we need to get there as soon as we can. It also will more than likely save more people than finding the squad on the mountain path." She retorted

The four of them again began the trek to the Temple. As they approached an archway there was more debris falling from the sky. It struck a soldier throwing him against the stonework killing him. The sound of intense fighting seemed to roll down the hill towards them. As they got closer Ann realized there was another rift. Soldiers were fighting just to keep the demons at bay. The demons seemed to be winning. The companions all joined the fight, killing wave after wave of demons as before, and again once the demons were gone Ann reached towards the rift, pulling on the stream as if it were a rope on a sack, closing the rift swiftly. Once the rift was closed she turned to Cassandra and froze.

A man approached Cassandra and began filling her in on the situation. That, that can't be! Ann immediately recognized Knight-Captain Cullen, from Kirkwall. She'd never actually met him but she had seen him often in the six months she was there teaching the apprentices. He'd changed a lot since Kirkwall, he'd lost the softness of young adulthood, but he was still very handsome. Blonde hair, honey colored eyes. If she didn't know him she would have probably been mesmerized by his looks, but she did know him. She also knew that the Knight-Captain had little love for mages and often agreed with Knight-Commander Meredith on how mages should be handled. It was common knowledge among the mages of Kirkwall's Circle that he would have preferred mages be completely locked up or made tranquil. She had heard stories that something had happened to him but she still didn't think he was right for obvious reasons, well obvious to her or any other mage. She stared at him until he began turning towards her. Ann swiftly looked down at her hands. It wouldn't do for her to look the Knight-Captain directly in his eyes. Templars rarely liked to be acknowledge by mages, and from the rumors she'd heard of Cullen she thought it best to assume he'd prefer she not look at him at all. With each new person she was meeting she was sure only death awaited her if she didn't continue to prove valuable. She had stopped listening to Cassandra and the Knight-Captain all together. Lost in her thoughts and worry. When someone gently nudged her shoulder. It was Varric, when she looked at him he gently gestured in front of her trying not to be obvious about it. She looked up and standing just a few feet from her was Cullen. Staring at her.

"uhh, umm did you say something?" Ann asked him, her voice shaky even though she tried to mask her fear.

"I said, I hope you can do what they say you can." the Templar stated 

"You're not the only one hoping that." Ann's voice steadying a little.

"We'll see, won't we?" Cullen responded and began walking away. Reaching out to help a soldier to his feet and nearly carrying him off the field.

Once he was gone they jumped down into a hole, it was clear there had been a building here. The Temple of Sacred Ashes. The other companions began talking, telling each other what they had heard about Ann's escape from the explosion. All Ann could concentrate on were all the dead bodies, still burning even now, a day later. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought about all the people who had died. All those people who had come to meet at the Temple and work out some sort of compromise to the Mage Rebellion. All that effort, all that loss and now the loss of the chance at peace. The thought made her physically ill. She wanted to vomit and scream and cry. Instead she continued on.  
When they reached what used to be the center of the Temple Leliana joined them with several of her scouts and some of the soldiers. Solas explained to them that she couldn't close the Breach first they needed to close the giant rift lower to the ground. It was the first rift to form and it was the largest as of right now. The plan was for her to close the rift and hope it would stop the Breach from getting bigger. Everyone readied themselves. Scouts were placed above the hole with bows and arrows. Some of the soldiers joined Ann's group as did Leliana. The expectation was there would be demons. First she had to reopen the rift. Once the rift was opened a giant Pride demon appeared. Once the demon was dead, again Ann reached up, pulled a stream from within the Rift and pulled it, as hard as she could. The force from closing the rift was so strong everyone was knocked back, that is the last thing Ann saw before falling unconscious from the effort it took to close the rift.


	3. The Former Knight-Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been several weeks since the Herald had come falling out of the fade and into their lives. Commander Cullen had as of late thought of little else. Sure, she was pretty, but that wasn't why he had found himself thinking so much about Ann. Once she'd closed that giant rift she'd fallen unconscious. It took several days before she'd woken up but once she had something had changed.

Cullen watched Ann walk by to see Master Harritt. His eyes followed her every move. He rarely could think of much else, unless he was distracted by his work. Maker's Breath she was beautiful, but that wasn't all he cared about. Ever since Cassandra had declared the Inquisition and he had finally gotten to speak to the Herald without worrying about his men, or demons falling on top of them he'd learned a little more about her and her personality. He loved her quick wit, he chuckled to himself then quickly looked around to be sure no one saw him smile. When she was introduced to the Advisers she'd made a comment about their impressive titles. She'd also quickly volunteered to go to the Hinterlands to meet Mother Giselle and to help the refugees in any way she could. The woman seemed to be a celestial being sent to help them, but Cullen was careful to remember she was a person and should be treated as such and not as some religious symbol. He'd learned his lesson about following blindly during his time in the Templars and that was a mistake he had no intention of repeating. 

 

She walked by again as he watched her stop and talk to Lisette. He wondered for not the first time why it seemed as though she avoided him. He had thought she had recognized him the moment they'd met on the battlefield but afterward in the Chantry she seemed fine. When she walked back through the gates of Haven and out of the practice area Cullen returned to his duties. For now, he needed to talk to Varric and see if the Dwarf knew anything. Her not talking to him was driving him mad but he also didn't want to see that look on her face again when he spoke to her so he wasn't going to approach her alone just yet. 

 

Several hours later when the troops had all dispersed Cullen went looking for Varric. If Varric didn't know anything he'd be forced to talk to Leliana and while he liked the woman who'd been the Left Hand of the Divine he'd rather not get a report on Ann, he wanted to know more about her as a person, not about her every move since the day she was born. That was just far too impersonal. So, Cullen went in search of Varric. If anyone had picked up any rumors or talked to her it would have been him. For some reason everyone enjoyed talking to him and it seemed as though everyone trusted Varric enough to tell him things they wouldn't normally tell anyone, Cullen included. 

He found Varric in the tavern, writing and drinking ale. Cullen grabbed an Ale from Flissa and sat down across from the dwarf. Varric grunted in Cullen's direction and finished writing what he was working on. 

He finally turned to Cullen and eyed him closely. "What brings you here Curly? I hardly see you anywhere but for on your way to the Chantry or overseeing the soldiers. This must be important. And for Andraste's sake stop looking like you're about to give a command to march. Damn Curly, you spend far too much time with that look on your face. It's bad for your health. Smile once in awhile would you?" 

 

Cullen sighed and looked at the ceiling. Maker help him, Varric could be trying but he did like this man and he had so very few friends since he'd lost them all in Fereldan. "Hey, do you know anything about Ann..." Cullen cleared his throat, "I mean the Herald? She seems to be avoiding me." 

 

Varric chuckled softly. "Interested are you? Just as well, you've spent far too much time alone since you left Kirkwall. Cullen, that's not a good thing. But to answer your question, yes, I know a little about Torch, what did you want to know?" 

Cullen raised an eyebrow, Torch? He wondered why Varric called her Torch. Not for the first time today Cullen felt the nervousness creeping in. "First of all Varric, I never said I was interested! Wh...where did you get that idea?" 

"Because I know you Curly, even if you think I don't. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care what she thought, you would just march up to her and say what you think. It's who you are. You're the Commander of the Inquisition and for you that's not just a title it's part of your personality. You don't know the meaning of the word fear anymore, at least not on a level that requires you to talk to people. There's nothing shy about you, and you know it. Don't worry, I won't spill your secret." 

 

"It's not that, I mean it's not entirely that. I guess it's sort of that. I mean. Maker! Varric, stop making me over think this. If you keep this up I'll just go on back to the training grounds and forget the whole thing. I should have known this would be a mistake." Cullen was getting flustered. Varric was right but Maker did he have to say it out loud where anyone walking by could hear him? 

Varric put his hands up, palms towards Cullen. "Ok, ok fair enough Curly. Maybe we should go for a walk so no one over hears us if you're so worried about it." Varric began to stand and gather his things. "Just let me drop these off at my tent will ya?" 

The pair left the tavern and headed down the path. Neither spoke until Varric had stowed his possessions and they'd walked a few yards from the gates towards the woods. Varric turned his head towards Cullen. 

"So, what's on your mind Commander? All joking aside, it must be important if you're asking me and you must want to know more than Leliana would put into a report." 

"Well, here's the thing Varric. When I met her on the battlefield the Herald seemed, afraid of me. Nervous to speak to me at the very least. I mean, I know I was a Templar but that life is gone. I would like to reassure her if that's the problem but if it's not I would truly like to do what I can to get past that." Maker, Cullen couldn't think. Nothing he was saying was making sense. He had no idea why he thought talking to Varric would help. If he was like this with him just talking about Ann then what would it be like actually talking to her? 

 

"Take a deep breath Cullen, you'll make yourself crazy if you don't calm down a little.To answer your question there's one thing you need to remember. You may be a FORMER Templar but you WERE a Templar and Torch is a mage. That's a lot to get over in times like these. Also, you were a Knight Captain when she knew you, that's an even bigger thing to get over Curly. Then, there's something that happened in Ostwick that's not helping matters I am sure." 

"She...she knew me in Kirkwall? How? I don’t remember her." Cullen tried to think back and he still couldn't recall having ever met Ann, but on the other hand even if he had he'd doubt he'd remember. It wasn't something he was proud of but he'd spent a lot of time looking through mages instead of at them in Kirkwall. He'd had done some terrible things, he never wanted to be that man again. He had known better, was raised better but had allowed Uldred to change him just the same. 

"Yeah, she'd been in Kirkwall for a few months before the Qunari lost it and attacked the city. She said she'd never actually met you but she saw you, she knew who you were. Also, Cullen. Do you know why she left Ostwick? It's not the story the Circle tells, and it's not the one Leliana knows. It's far worse Curly and if she's afraid of Templars I don't blame her, nor is it surprising." Varric stopped walking and turned to face Cullen. "Some asshole tried to hurt her Cullen, he tried to take something from her that wasn't his to take, if you get what I mean." 

Cullen's face told Varric he knew what he'd meant. Realization spread across the blonde man's face, it growing red with anger as his brows knit together and his lips grew thin and white. Cullen wanted to kill whoever this man was, not just because it was Ann, the Herald, but because he'd taken advantage of a situation, he was the embodiment of everything that had gone wrong with the Chantry. Whomever this mystery Templar was Cullen honestly hoped he'd get what he deserved before this was all over or he swore to Andraste he'd hunt the man down and kill him himself. It was people like this man, who'd helped Cullen realize what he'd become. He never would have done that even at his worst but he was bad enough to consider that making all mages tranquil was a good idea and he'd allowed Meredith to drill more hate into him while he was in Kirkwall. Cullen couldn't focus for a moment. He only saw red, then Varric reached out and touched him on the wrist. 

"Curly? Are you ok? You looked like you were about to murder someone. I know it's a lot to take in but you gotta let this go. You're no help to her if you're angry, and she's going to need your help to get past this. I think it's exactly what she needs. Torch is special, and I don't just mean that thing on her hand either. She's got a lot of love for everyone and she's willing to fix the fuck ups we all created in Kirkwall. That says a lot about a person, but she can't devote her life to that. She needs friends, much like you need to stop being so serious all the time. It will kill you both in the end." 

"So, what am I supposed to do Varric? I can't take back what that man did as much as I want to, and, I really want to get to know her better." 

"Just be there for her Curly, talk to her. You may even have to take the first step. She's going to shy away from you as long as she thinks you're the Knight-Captain, even if that's a life you've given up. Be patient, and think about what I've said Cullen. You could both use a little happiness these days." Varric turned and walked back to Haven shaking his head. 

 

Cullen watched the man leave his mind filled with what he'd just been told. He'd never imagined it was that bad. That it wasn't just her fear of him, but of men in the Order as well, even if it wasn't all men within the Order. Now he was going to have to gather his courage and talk to her, if he wanted to get to know her at all he'd have the make the effort. He straightened up standing taller. I'll do what I must. The Commander within him taking over. He marched back to his tent considering what his next move would be and what he'd say to Ann. 

 

The next morning Cullen was standing in his usual spot in by the soldiers tents in the training area when Ann again walked by. She looked to be going for a stroll. She spoke to everyone she passed. Cullen smiled slightly. This was it, this was his chance. 

"Herald! Good morning!" He blurted out as she passed. 

She stopped abruptly and turned towards him. "Hello Commander, is there something I can do for you?" Looking just past his head, but she did take a couple of steps toward him, staying a safe distance back however. 

"You came from the Circle in Ostwick?" 

"Why? Would you prefer I be locked up like all the other good mages?" She retorted 

"Touche, but that wasn't what I meant. I only meant to get to know you a little better, but I suppose that's not a subject anyone wishes to discuss." He smiled slightly putting his hands up palms forward in a surrender motion. 

A look of surprise crossed her face and she returned his smile. Her smile seemed to light up the whole outdoors if that were possible. 

"My apologies Commander, that was rude of me. I shouldn't have said it. It's just that, well, it's sort of a touchy subject." Ann seemed to relax a little when he hadn't responded to her snarky comment in kind. 

"May we speak of something else then? I would really like to know more about you." Cullen again smiled, taking half a step back to give her more space hoping it would make her feel less afraid of him. 

 

The two spoke for several minutes, the longer they chatted the more relaxed Ann became. At one point she even touched his arm lightly, even if she did quickly remove it with a worried look on her face. When their conversation ended and she continued on her walk Cullen felt better than he had in ages. He hoped that with a few more careful conversations and patience she would eventually open up to him. He raised his eyes to the sky and thanked the Maker for Varric's conversation. The rest of the day Cullen thought about their conversation and the joy would reignite inside him and make him smile. Varric was also right that he didn't smile enough.


	4. Playing With Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann has just returned to Haven from a long stent in the Hinterlands. Both she and Cullen have come to a realization that everyone around them has already known for quite some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short, I swear it seemed so much longer when I was writing it :S

Ann had been away in the Hinterlands for weeks and she was glad to be back at Haven for a while to get some rest. She'd missed chatting with Cullen, although she wouldn't admit it to him, not just yet anyway. She wanted to be sure he truly was the man he appeared to be. She couldn't allow him get too close if he was still the man she'd heard about while in Kirkwall. She certainly wouldn't admit to herself that it was already too late for that. Even if she did think of him often and when she did her chest tightened and warmth spread throughout her entire body. 

 

Ann was exhausted, she loved helping people but Maker! She'd avenged an elven woman's husbands murder, she'd brought her back her wedding ring. She even went all the way out to those odd folks who had started a cult over the Breach to get a breathing potion for one mage's mother, she'd also gotten Solas to talk that fool boy into going back home to his family. Not to mention the uncounted rifts she and her friends had closed, nor that Maker awful trip to Val Royeaux, where they learned that the Templar order had gone completely off the rails! She needed a break more than anyone else in all of Thedas right now. She definitely needed one before going to see Fiona in Redcliffe. Somehow she just knew it wasn't going to be as easy as just asking them to help the Inquisition. It never was that simple. 

Entering her little cabin Ann tossed her pack in the corner, she'd worry about putting her things away later. Right now all she wanted was a bath and a nap. Andraste help anyone who stopped her. She peeled out of her dirty travel clothes and slipped on some soft warm breeches and shirt. Grabbing a towel and her bag of toiletries she headed out the door pulling it closed behind her. Walking towards the bath house with her head down Ann was thinking about the scar on Cullen's lip and wondering how he'd gotten it. Not for the first time she wondered if it had happened when he'd fought the Knight-Commander. She'd heard the tales, no one in the Free Marches hadn't as far as she could tell. Meredith had gone mad with power, or red lyrium, the way Varric tells it. She'd punished mages for the smallest infractions, simple things like writing love letters. Making harrowed mages Tranquil at the drop of a hat. Ann shuddered at the thought. As of late she thought maybe Anders had been right, maybe not killing all those innocent people of course, but someone had to do something in Kirkwall or it could have been so much worse. To hear Varric tell it though, Cullen had changed his tune about mages once the fighting had started. When Meredith had declared the Right of Annulment on the mages in Kirkwall for Anders' act even though Anders was an apostate and not a Circle Mage at all. Her face flamed in anger at the thought of the Knight-Commander sentencing all those mages to death for something they'd had no part in. Ann reached out to open the bath house door when it slammed into her knocking her to the ground. 

 

"What the actual FUCK!" Ann yelled. 

Once it was out Ann's face turned crimson in embarrassment her hand flying up to cover her mouth. Looking up to see who'd come out the door her whole body stilled. Looking down at her with his mesmerizing gold eyes was none other than Cullen Rutherford. Now she was even more embarrassed if that were possible. 

 

He chuckled at her exclamation as he reached down to help her up. "Herald of Andraste huh? Do you kiss your Mother with that mouth?" A smirk coming across his lips, making his scar possibly more attractive to Ann. 

 

" I...I was just startled, that's all. I guess I should have been paying attention. I was lost in thought." 

"No, no my dear lady it is I who flung the door open. I hadn't expected anyone to be standing right behind it. This was all my fault, forgive me." Cullen blushed slightly and looked off to the side shyly. 

 

That look on his face melted her heart and it felt as though it would come flying out of her chest. She smiled at him and took his hand as she stood up. Placing her inches from Cullen. She could feel his breath on her face. She inhaled deeply taking in his scent, leather and metal polish but also, what was that smell, she couldn't place it, like elfroot but not. Her face flushed as she took a step back. 

"Pardon me Commander, I need to take care of a personal matter." She managed to stammer out. 

Cullen bowed slightly, "I hope to see you again later Herald." 

"Ann, please Call me Ann." 

"Only if you will call me Cullen" he insisted 

Ann ducked into the bath house without another word. Void take her! She wasn't sure she could take it much longer. She'd wanted to just lean up on her toes and kiss that scar of his. The man did something to her. She'd never felt this way about anyone, and the fact that he was a Templar, Former Templar she corrected herself, didn't help matters. It was exciting, and scary at the same time. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

The air in the Tavern was filled with music and laughter. Ann sat beside Sera, the newest member of the Inquisition and pushed her with her shoulder. 

"What's going on Sera?" 

"Hey! Herald...piss on that, I ain't callin' ya Herald, it's like Harold and a man you certainly are not." Sera looked Ann up and down, lingering in places that made Ann squirm. 

Laughing she told Sera to just call her Ann, then settled down to drink her wine. Everyone in the tavern was having such a good time and Ann was enjoying herself when she had an idea. 

"Hey who wants to see a trick?" She called out, loud enough to quiet the murmuring and conversations spread throughout the room. 

 

The whole tavern cheered and egged her on. This was going to be FUN she thought to herself standing up to show the tavern what she could do with a fireball. 

 

 

Some of his soldiers had run by excitedly telling Cullen that the Herald was at the tavern doing some kind of trick with her magic. He decided to head over, not for the trick but because he hadn't been able to concentrate since he'd literally run into her earlier today. It had been bad enough knowing she was back in Haven but when he saw her his heart had stopped. He could know longer deny it to himself. He was in love with the Herald of Andraste. He didn't know how, or even if he could but he would have to tell her. He couldn't keep pretending he didn't. It was killing him. He'd rather know how she felt about him and either move on, or move forward. Without knowing he was stuck in a void filled with misery. 

When he reached the tavern and stepped inside it was almost empty. Cullen stopped in the doorway and wondered where everyone had gone. He'd walked over almost immediately when he'd heard the news but now no one was here. Suddenly he heard laughing and cheering outside behind the tavern. Curiosity got the better of him and he stepped out the door on the opposite side of the tavern. The tavern crowd had gathered outside. Cullen pushed through the crowd making his way to the center where the loudest raucous was located. When the sea of people made a path for him Cullen stared in disbelief. 

There was a circle of soldiers and scouts laughing hysterically, Varric was standing up on the ledge of the retaining wall goading the circle on and taking notes by the look of it. Sera was next to him giggling and yelling that they'd never beat the Herald at her own game. On one side of the circle Ann was holding a fireball floating just over her hand, it was wrapped in a barrier, it was a sight he'd never seen before. Hell he'd never even heard about such a thing. He had no idea you could put a barrier around a fireball. She tossed the blazing orb to the soldier next to her, he snatched it out of the air and tossed it to the person on his right, the ball made the trip around the circle until one of the scouts dodged it half frightened and everyone laugh loudly again. The soldier to the right of the scout, Jim, Cullen thinks. Picked up the ball and tossed it to the next person in the circle, the barrier was wearing thin but the circle just tossed it faster, quickly the players were backing out until there was only Ann standing there. 

 

"You bunch of cowards! I've seen children hold out longer." Egging them on she giggled. "Cullen! You're brave enough aren't you? I bet you could outlast this bunch of babies." Ann laughed louder. The sound of her laughter filled Cullen with joy. He wished he could make her laugh like that. 

"A fireball? You're playing with a fireball? Have you completely lost your mind?" He tried to put on his Commander face but it came out sounding far too amused than it should have. 

"Aww look the Jack Boot is worried" Sera giggled 

 

"Hey Torch, I think you scared our Commander. Curly, you better watch this one, she'll be the death of you." Varric chortled and winked at Ann. 

 

"Aww, come on Cullen! It's fun! I promise you I won't burn you, see?" 

Ann formed 3 small fireballs and coated them in a barrier and began tossing them in the air, juggling fireballs! Maker help him! 

"Puh, please Ann, put those out, and come inside and have a drink." The worry evident in Cullen's voice. Although Ann was unsure if he was worried for her, or everyone else. 

"Ugh! Fine, spoil sport. Come on everyone drinks are on the Commander!" 

A cheer went up through the crowd and Cullen just rubbed his face with his hand. As Varric walked by he winked at Cullen again. "You've got a handful with Torch, better you than me Curly." 

Cullen shook his head and followed the crowd into the tavern. He took a seat at the table with Varric and Sera. Varric began telling Cullen how the whole thing started. Ann had started by juggling fireballs much like earlier and some of the men had wanted to touch them and get a closer look, which turned into a game. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves and no one had been injured. Ann slid onto the bench next to Cullen. She adjusted slightly to get more comfortable and her leg brushed his. It was all he could do not to jump at her touch. It was electric. The small brush had sent shivers through him, his breath hitched. He turned to smile at Ann and only then realized he'd stopped breathing. Maker she was beautiful. The freckles across her nose begged to be kiss. Cullen cleared his throat as his hand went to the back of his neck. 

It grew dark outside as the small group traded stories and drank. At one point Cassandra even joined them. Ann stood pushing back the cup she'd been drinking wine from and stretched. Being the gentleman the Templars trained him to be Cullen stood as well. 

"Are you leaving Her...Ann?" He asked bashfully 

Stretching again and yawning "I'm afraid so Cullen. It's time I got some sleep I am afraid." Ann explained. 

Varric elbowed him and nodded towards Ann, Cassandra even raised her eyebrows in Ann's direction. The both of them encouraging Cullen to act. 

"May I walk you to your cabin Ann?" He finally managed to utter. Varric and Cassandra gave him approving looks, Sera just grinned from ear to ear. 

"I...I would like that I think Cullen." Ann's voice cracked, slightly anxious. 

She slipped her arm through his when he offered it to him. The pair walked out of the tavern arm in arm, leaving those inside whispering behind their backs, but Cullen didn't care. All he cared about was that Ann who had been so frightened of him months ago when they'd first met was comfortable enough to be alone with him. He swelled with love and happiness. He'd never thought it would be possible to feel this good. 

It was a short walk to Ann's cabin, shorter than either of them wanted if they were honest with each other. When they reached the door Cullen leaned over to push the latch when Ann unexpectedly stood up on her toes and kissed him tentatively. Time stopped, his breath caught in his throat. Cullen didn't move, not one muscle. 

"I, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I just..." Ann stumbled through her sentence leaving it unfinished. 

Cullen didn't even wait for her to move, he gathered her up into his arms and kissed her hard, their lips crashing into each other. Her arms moved around his neck pulling him in closer. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip swiftly, asking without words for her to open her mouth to him. She quietly whimpered and obliged. Cullen used his tongue to explore her warm mouth pulling her tighter to his chest. Their lips and tongues saying everything neither of them could. When they pulled apart Cullen looked at the woman in front of him. She was so amazing, there were no words for how beautiful she was to him. Her lips red and puffy from their kiss did nothing but reignite the urge to kiss her again. He gathered as much control as he could. 

"Maker, that was nice." He whispered against her lips 

Ann smiled warming his heart. "That was wonderful Cullen, I've wanted to do that for so long now." 

"As did I, but you better go inside before I can no longer control myself and I come in with you" He chuckled, meaning the words even if he had made it sound like a joke. 

Ann leaned up and kissed his jaw and added a quick kiss to his lips before slipping inside. 

 

Cullen leaned on the closed door, catching his breath. Remembering every moment of the kiss. Knowing he'd have a hard time sleeping tonight as he played it over and over in his head. He loved that woman. There was no way around it, and Maker help him, he thinks to himself, I believe she loves me too. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

 

It had been two days since Ann had kissed Cullen and he had returned her kiss. They had seen little of each other outside the War Room. It was just as well, Ann thought, she needed time to think. Was it really possible that she had fallen in love with the former Templar? It was true, Cullen was a good man. That was really not in doubt. He'd left the only life he'd known for sixteen years or more, and the Chantry whom he'd been devoted to because they were no longer the institutions he had placed his trust in, vowed to support. They had not returned that devotion to him after what ever had happened during the Blight in Kinloch Hold. They had instead encouraged his fear and rage toward mages and when Kirkwall fell he'd realized his he was not the man he wanted to be and has spent every day since attempting to correct his mistakes. Cullen had come with Cassandra to the Divine's Conclave hoping to change things, to stop the war between Mages and Templars, and when the temple was decimated he didn't run, he hadn't stopped trying to help bring order to the chaos. Instead he ran to help those injured. Had been the voice of direction in a world that had gone even more mad. He still looked to bring peace between the two factions. All the while helping the Inquisition close the breach in the sky. Using his training to raise an army to fight the demons falling from the rifts. No, there was no doubt he was no longer the hard, cruel Knight-Captain. This Cullen, this man, was easy for her to love and she was tired of fighting it. Ann had decided to surrender to her feelings. 

 

These were the thoughts running through her mind as she packed her equipment and clothing to return to the Hinterlands. She was due to meet with Fiona in Redcliffe before the end of the week. She hadn't yet decided to depend on the mages for help, but even if she didn't, as a mage, and a former member of the Circle she felt she needed to listen to them and offer any help she could. In the months since leaving Ostwick she'd had time to consider the Circle and the Chantry and had become even more sure than ever that she and the rest of the mages deserved better in their lives. Not just the mages either, but one group at a time. 

 

As she finished packing her clothing and set her pack on her bed there was a knock on the cabin door. Tentative at first becoming more confident and persistant. 

 

"Come in" she called, returning to finish packing her gear. 

 

"Hey, Lady Herald, you don't really want me to go to meet the MAGES do you?" Sera's voice came from over her shoulder. 

 

"You do realize I'm a mage don't you Sera?" Ann giggled. 

 

"Yeah, but you aren't a scary mage. You play games and like to have fun. YOUR magic doesn't scare me, but theirs does. I can't believe I'm being serious, but dan't make me go with you." Sera's fear was palpable. 

 

"No worries Sera, Varric can take your place. Will you tell him I need him to go and to pack a bag when you head back to the tavern?" 

 

"Sure thing Ann." She started out the door and stopped, "Oh, and thanks, yeah?" 

 

Ann returned to her task and smiled, she really liked that girl even if she was a little strange. 

 

Cullen ran into Sera outside Ann's cabin he raised an eyebrow and looked at her. Asking a question without saying a word. 

 

"Oh, she's in there Cully-Wully. I know that's what you wanna know, Innit? 

 

He nodded without a word and turned back toward the cabin. Sera had apparently left the door open. He shook his head, that girl acts like she was raised in a barn. He stepped into the doorway peering inside. Ann's back was to the door. Her short brown hair highlighting with red in the light of the sun. He watched her move gracefully, the curve of her hips and the shape of her ass in the riding breeches she was wearing made him light headed. He leaned against the door frame trying to calm his ragged breath and will away the tightening that had begun in his small clothes. The way she moved did things to him and not just in his pants either. The sight of Ann always made him think of all the things that could be. A future he had long ago given up on, that he'd traded for joining the Templars. 

 

"Hello love. I am truly glad I caught you before you left. I was afraid you'd leave without saying goodbye and that would have broken my heart." The words came pouring out of his mouth, for the first time in ages he'd said exactly what he felt without planning it, no complications, no second guessing himself. 

 

When Ann turned around the smile on her face made Cullen's mind go blank. She smiled with her whole face, her mouth quirked up more on the left and her eyes glittered like pools of water in the sun. He stepped into the cabin and gently closed the door behind him. He could feel his small clothes again living up to their name and feeling tight. He ignored the ache in his crotch taking a step towards the vision standing by the bed before contemplating the fact that being in such close proximity to both the Ann and the bed would be a bad idea. It was far too soon to make love to her even if he would like nothing better than to touch and kiss every inch of her soft body. He stepped over to the sofa instead of continuing towards Ann and leaned against the back of the sofa. 

 

The surprise of finding Cullen in her doorway sent electricity shooting through Ann's body. He wasn't wearing his usual armor for some reason. Instead he was wearing soft leather breeches and a grey cotton shirt. She looked from his thick muscular legs up to his chest. She could just about make out every line and curve of the warriors muscles through his shirt. At his mouth her breath hitched a little, her eyes lingering on his scar, finally she gazed into his warm honey colored eyes. Maker! She wanted to run her hands over his chest, tracing every peak and valley she found there. 

 

When he'd taken a step towards her Ann half hoped he'd push her down on to the bed and show her all the things the other mages told her people do, but she knew that was not a good idea just now. She needed to know he loved her before she could truly give herself to him. She didn't want to be just one more person he'd sleep with. She wanted it to mean something. Not just because it would be the first time for her, but because she loved him ad she needed that in return. So, when he changed directions and moved to the sofa Ann let out a little sigh of relief and moved closer to him. 

 

"I was hoping I would see you before I left for Redcliffe. I was hoping to...talk to you." Her eyes never leaving Cullens. "The other night, umm is that something you wanted? I mean, do you want more? No, that's not what I mean, I don't mean do you want to kiss more. SHIT! I am not making any sense am I." 

 

Cullen chuckled and that smirk she adored spread across his face. "That mouth of yours, and Maker! That mouth of yours." The second half of that statement sounded breathless as though her mouth awed him. 

 

His hand went up to the back of his neck as his usual blush crept up his face. 

"Uh that is to say, I would very much like to spend more time with you. Perhaps when you return we could have dinner together. I mean, just us, here in your cabin maybe?" He looked down at the floor and slightly away from her, trying and failing not to get his hopes up. 

 

Ann reached up and lifted his face to look into his eyes. He hadn't even realized she'd moved closer. "I would like that Cullen, I would like that very much," her voice came out raspy and breathless, it was a tone he'd never heard before and it made his head swim. 

 

Without though Cullen swept her up turning around setting her on the back of the sofa, placing himself between her knees and wrapping an arm around her waist. Ann gasped at the unexpected motion before his lips overtook hers and she placed a hand on the back of his neck, where only moments ago his own had been. Her other hand explored his chest over his shirt. Cullen growled against her lips. She parted hers and flicked her tongue over his scar. Relishing the smoothness that broke the roughness of his stubble. He tilted his head slightly to coax her tongue into his mouth. Their kiss grew sloppy and intense all thought left them both as they poured their feelings into this simple act. Cullen moved his free hand to cup her cheek. Ann moaned into his mouth. Their tongues twinning together, dancing with each other. Heat rose around them. 

Cullen set Ann back on her feet onto the floor, she leaned against him weak and dizzy. He bent to kiss her forehead when the door came crashing open. The couple jumped apart as Cassandra stormed through the door. 

 

"Herald, the horses are ready, we can head out nnn...." She stopped mid sentence and looked between Ann and Cullen. "Oh! I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" A half smile on her face. 

 

"What? No, of...of course not Cassandra. I was just discussing the expectations of your party at Redcliffe." Cullen swiftly responded. 

 

"Yes, Cassandra, we're nearly done here, I'll meet you by the stables in a moment." Ann added 

 

The Seeker didn't believe either of them for a second but she didn't let on and backed out the door closing it as she left. 

 

Cullen and Ann looked at each other and laughed at how close they had come to being caught. Ann leaned up and kissed him again swiftly. 

 

"I'll miss you Cullen" 

 

"And I you my Love" 

 

They held each other for a few more minutes before parting. Ann picking up her packs and following behind Cassandra. Cullen's heart sank. Knowing she'd be gone at least two weeks, maybe longer. The thought made his chest ache. He stayed in Ann's cabin longer than necessary , he wanted to be sure she was gone before he returned to the training yard. He couldn't bear the though of watching her leave.


End file.
